Driven by Life Experiences

Generally speaking the way the ‘old world’ works is that as a professional you are supposed to act professionally ALL THE TIME and that, only that is supposed to define you as a human and professional, otherwise you are not worthy of BEING at whatever level you are aspiring to be at. Is this the right way of looking at things though? Are we not taking ourselves a bit too seriously for that moment? Let’s be vulnerable and more transparent here, not only as professionals but also as human beings because that’s the only time you can actually make a genuine connection with somebody and this is what I’m trying to do here, maybe I will strike a cord in you too…take a walk with me….I dare you to…

Internally, I always see people fighting the battle between being serious and/or silly and I always asked myself why you can’t do both? I always felt that it’s an obligation to be able to balance both parts of your internal being, or is there maybe even more to discover within yourself that you can shine the light on for others to see? At the highest level of sports you are required to be serious in order to be taken seriously but is that also the way you should be all the time? Is this the way you want to be perceived by everyone? Are you really THAT worried about putting together an image that is supposed to define you and how competent you really are? Isn’t that a too simple way of looking at things, black and white, on and off, here and there, in and out… I’m a strong believer that as a person you are meant to be a multi-faceted human being but sometimes it takes a while to discover those other facets of yourself…but once you do, trust me, it’s special. It takes honesty to yourself first and foremost in order to discover those other facets and not be afraid to let them out. Letting your curiosity take you in any different direction because in the end, whatever you may discover on that journey will influence your mindset and job on a daily basis. You may become a better professional overall just because you now have different ways of looking at things. 

Your experiences in life help contribute to discovering your other facets so whenever you have an opportunity to do so,…..do so! 

Whenever you are traveling the world you should be open to new experiences, meeting new people, whether it’s locals or others on their own journey…maybe discovering your inner child along the way again…hopefully you never lost that inner child in the first place but chances are that you did somewhere along the way. Life has toughened you up to a degree where you had to hide that inner-child in fear of being judged and bullied but that kid is still there…I promise…that inner-child is waiting for you to take his hand again and show him to the world…again. On your travels, don’t be afraid to also learn a new language along the way, it will rewire your brain and help you perceive things in completely different ways, experience life in different colors, it will challenge your to help you grow internally and eventually externally. Whenever you travel and talk to people, don’t walk around blindly – take a stroll and look around every once in a while, there are so many beautiful things along the way that you can bring back to wherever you live or work at. This is the journey from discovery to implementation/integration into your day to day….if you are ‘traveling’ to sit at the pool all day and drink cocktails and say that you travelled to Turkey or Spain than I’m urging you to RE-think that thought. Go on a JOURNEY whenever you are doing a JOURNEY, explore, talk, smile, say hello to strangers even if that means you look dumb when they don’t say hello back, talk again, laugh, grab a coffee, get a good workout, make love, eat well, write, smile again….bring all that back to where you are and share those experiences because why even have them in the first place if you can’t use them properly!? 

I’m a strong believer that everything has its place. When it’s time to travel, you travel the best you can…when it’s time to spend time with friends and family then engage yourself fully and immerse yourself in that experience without distractions….when it’s time to communicate, you communicate the best way possible. Be impeccable with your word – as the book ‘The Four Agreements’ begs you to be! When it’s time to celebrate, you better freakin’ celebrate fully and let it go because celebrations are not guaranteed forever and they also have to be earned while climbing the mountain, so don’t forget to also celebrate small wins! When it’s time to work, you work your ass off the best way possible with all the experiences you gathered along the way.. Be grateful for the experiences you had and implement them in the work that you do, let your colors shine and BE YOU while doing it. Dig deep and use all of those experiences! No masks necessary to be the best you can be because only YOU can be the authentic and unique YOU and why be afraid to be YOU? If you are working with the right people, they will embrace and love your true self as long as you put on quality-work and don’t disregard your duties. REMINDER: This is all in the context of work, you have to be able to balance them and be productive as well as find the time to distance yourself from certain aspects that are not meant for you.

I’m a strong believer you can be a high-level executive and not have a stern face all the time. I believe you can be a better head coach by showing your personality and your multiple facets because this shows to players that you are actually a human being who can talk to them on various levels and not just a robot. There is levels and layers to everything in this world and you are the mirror of your own layers! Read that sentence again please….
I believe you can be a better person first and foremost if you are not afraid to be judged and can be silly from time to time. Enjoy this path because it’s not guaranteed, it can end any time, any day. People are afraid to be put down by their co-workers or bosses because they can appear to be ‘immature’, that simply means you have a bad boss if they can’t distinguish between your quality work and your personality. And if you are ‘a boss’ reading this and you find yourself in this, then don’t be so insecure about it and help your workers be themselves if you see them struggling to open up. In the end, their colors may help your company shine in different colors as well! I emphasize ‘quality work’, that’s a pre-requisite…don’t ever forget that…then you can be whoever you are and shine in all colors because your work will do the talking in the end or so it should. 

If you know me, you know I love a variety of things that impact me daily. I don’t have ‘a type’…whether it’s ‘player type’, a ‘type of woman’, a music genre…etc…I love what I love, whatever catches my eye and ‘touches’ my soul in a particular way. That’s my way of life…It’s also my job that certain things catch my eye by the way :). 

I want to finish with my favorite rapper Jay-Z and his mother’s poem (different context but true) at the end of the song ‘Smile’ from the Album “4:44”:

“Living in the shadow, can you imagine what kind of life it is to live? In the shadows people see you as happy and free because that’s what you want them to see. Living two lives, happy but not free! You live in the shadows for fear of someone hurting your family or the person you love. The world is changing and it’s time to be free but you live with the fear of just being me. Living in the shadow feels like the safe place to be, no harm for them, no harm for me…But life is short and it’s time to be free, love who you love because life isn’t guaranteed…SMILE!”

• Gloria Carter